The day after Monday blog

As a former journalist, I like to look for mistakes in newspapers.

Back during my journalist days, if we made a mistake or wrote a silly headline, the red pen would come out and the editor would make big scribbles and comments.

Nobody liked getting “red inked”, although we did find it amusing when it happened to our co-workers, especially the ones we didn’t like.

So the former journalist in me likes to peruse the newspapers I read and while doing so, I look for mistakes. (NOTE: you will sometimes find typos and grammar mistakes in this fine blog, but that’s mainly because of my laziness and lack of time to rewrite and edit)

This morning as I got the paper, in a big headline on the front page it says “Residents Won’t Be Homeless”. That makes sense to me.

If you are a resident, you aren’t homeless. Right? I hope my buddy F.J. didn’t write this and if you did, I’m sorry for pointing this out.

The city of Fort Smith is tearing down an apartment to build some new ones. Check out this thoughtful quote by an administrator:

“No one will be homeless unless they choose to be.” Do that many people actually want to sleep on cardboard and eat stuff out of the trash?

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The picture you see above is my photo for the day. It is of a mosquito I found out in the yard yesterday. Yes, it is a macro. I had to chase the little sucker for several minutes before I got close enough to take this.

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Saw an interesting article this morning by Suze “Hey babe!” Orman. Here’s the link if you want to take a look.

It’s Five Signs That It’s Time for a New Job. Here they are!

1. Friday is your favorite day (uh oh. That means 90 percent of the world need a new job).

2. You’re bored. (Make that 95 percent of the world need a new job).

3. Stress is your middle name. (Gee, I must be missing out but I’ve never met anybody with that middle name. Know a lot of people living with stress, but they are missing out on the middle name).

4. You’re underappreciated and overworked. (Sorry, I don’t have the stats on this but I would have to say that includes the majority of workers).

5. You keep saying, “If only I could do it all over, I would be a…” (hmm, better leave that one alone).

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Okay, I’m back! Did you miss me? Uh, that was really silly, eh? I went into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.

This weekend, I decided that I was going to start drinking coffee. I have survived without it for almost 43 years but decided it was time to start and I am forcing myself to like it.

At first, it would make me want to yack, but I am slowly starting to like it. I want to be able to stand around the coffee pot and sport a Styrofoam cup of joe and be one of the dudes.

Plus, I want to wean myself off of pop. I do like the caffeine, too! Last night, I was feeling a little droopy so I had a cup around 7 or so and perked right up.

Now I’ll be able to spend $4 on a triple latte! I have to add a little sugar substitute for flavoring. I’ll have to get an official Craigman mug to drink coffee out of at work

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My weight is still hanging around the 216 mark, dang the luck! Nothing seems to work. Boo hoo. Guess I’ll have to actually need to watch what I am eating and exercise.

That seems to help.

While I was in the kitchen getting my first cup of coffee for the day, I took my blood sugar. It was 119! Yeah! It needs to be under 120 so I made the cut. Cool.

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Enough for now. Please have a good day and ask not what the Craigman can do for you, but what you can do for the Craigman.

Monday, Monday...

Another Monday morning. Eh. It is a little after 5 in the a.m. as I sit in my office writing this and trying to write something interesting. Not off to a good start, eh?

Let’s see what were the top items in the Craigman’s social agenda this weekend: uh, hang on, I will come up with something.

I guess the most exciting thing we did was make two trips to Wal-Mart, once Saturday morning and again last night after church. Every time I go in that store, I wonder where some of these people come from.

They got more than their quota of different people. It seems like the later it is, the worse the caliber of customers. We had goths last night, a group that looked like extras from Deliverance and many more too numerous to mention.

Sometimes I like to just sit on the bench at the front and watch the people, although that is like an invitation for some really old guy to come sit next to me and discuss the weather and his medical ailments.

I forgot to mention a trip to Subway in Poteau Saturday night to grab a sandwich. My wife had not ate a Subway in a while and that was our excitement for Saturday night.

It’s not like there are any good movies out to watch. It actually didn’t bother me to sit at home most of the weekend as Seinfield kept me entertained most of Saturday.

I keep going outside to check on the dogs but the puppies are still gone. Bummer.

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The picture you see above was the picture I took for yesterday in my photo project. I have wanted to get a picture of the railroad bridge for a long time and decided to try and do it yesterday (please see below for an explanation of my behavior).

This bridge is just south of Hodgen. I have always wanted to get a picture from the other side, but found that this side is even better, in my opinion. It required a little walk and to walk across the bridge. Images of Standy by Me were floating through the old brain so I walked rather briskly.

The youngest son accompanied me. There's no telling how old this bridge is along with the rock support.

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After thinking about it for a couple of minutes, I have made an important decision about the difference between guys and gals.

Both men and women and women strive for challenge. Normally, this is just associated with men as they like to hunt and tackle projects that they don’t have the skills or patience to finish.

However, this is also true with women. Usually, this does not come out of their system until after marriage. True, they are nesters, but they also want the challenge of molding their fellow to their own tastes.

Just like on everything else regarding marriage, I believe women attend a top-secret school to learn how to do this and wait until after the “I do’s” to keep from scaring the guy off.

Then it is time to go to work. Ever notice how different a guy looks and acts after he gets married? Some guys are able to fight off the changes while others eventually succumb to the “nag factor”.

All guys have one. It is the amount of nagging required before the guy wilts and gives in to the above mentioned changes or whatever else the wife wants.

It could be different clothes as in the old “you AREN’T going to wear that, are you?” I get that one frequently. Then it falls into eating habits “don’t talk with your mouth full of mashed tators!” to cleaning.

“You haven’t taken a shower in two days!” Like that’s against the law on the weekend. They also aren’t real pleased with the love of their life letting out bodily noises, especially the ones that leave an odor.

The women also seem to have their goals lined up. They have the short-time goals such as getting rid of the ear hair, to the mid-term goals like getting the hubby to stop wearing the pants with the big hole in the crotch, to the long-term goals. This falls into the social behavior changes along with turning over financial control and not questioning a woman’s decisions.

Then, there are guys. Their only challenges are the manly ones like shooting a big buck, actually getting two pars out of 18 holes or building that new shop building out back that will provide a nice hiding spot from the wife.

That’s about enough for today.

A goodbye blog

For the first time since October, this day finds the Hall household without puppies.

We had sold the other four puppies but were having trouble finding Bailey and Gracie a home. So just when we decided to keep them, a lady called Friday wanting a puppy. She chose Bailey (my favorite) and took her home.

Yesterday, the same person called and said she wanted to get a puppy for her father. So she came and got Gracie. We are now officially back to four dogs. Since Daisy is probably pregnant again since Buddy and her have been having premarital intercourse, we will probably have puppies again in a couple of months so this is good.

But I still miss the little ones. We watched them from the moment they were born until they left. At least it looks like they all had good homes.

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I am forming a new web site. It won't be up and running for a couple of days but I wanted a site where I could put a bunch of different stuff together. I'll eventually have a copy of this blog on that site along with my books and a lot of other stuff.

The link will be: http://halltheway.com Again, it won't be up and running for a few days but I will gradually add a bunch of stuff to it such as the photo of the day and some different blogs that I have been writing.

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I finished writing my latest book on Friday. It was a prequel to The Old Man's Request called When Squiggy Met Mule. This was the second book I have written this year from start to finish and I also posted a book that I finished up last year called One for the Ages.

When Squiggy Met Mule has not been advertised a lot since it is silly and basically has no story. It's just a tale of how they met and the dumb stuff they do that leads up to when Squiggy runs into Mikey at the start of The Old Man's Request. The newest book is online, but I am keeping it secret since it might offend some people.

If you want the link and promise not to be offended by silly stuff, send me an email and I will forward the link. Once I have the new site up and running, the full book will be available along with the other books also. I am also going to put the books on PDF (thanks to my good bud RJP) and sell them. If there is enough interest, I will print some out but I don't want to take another hickey like I did on the Heavener Alumni tee-shirts that I printed out after people expressed an interest and then didn't buy.

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The picture you see above is a black and white (duh!) of the waterfall at the Runestone State Park. I braved the rainy weather yesterday to go to the park and was pleased to discover the waterfall was back in action.

It has been so dry over the last few months that the waterfall has been a waterdrip. It was going full bore yesterday. If you want to see a larger image, click here. Also, if you want to see what it looks like in color, click here.

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I broke down yesterday and bought an external hard drive with 160 gb of memory to hold my pictures. Since there are so many images on my computer, I am constantly fighting problems with memory and have stored a lot of them on discs, which I don't like doing.

This should solve my memory problems for the computer for a long time. Now if I can just figure out how to solve my memory problems in my head, I will be much better off.

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As an early Valentine's gift, my kind and loving wife got me the dvd of Seinfield for the first two seasons. I had never seen any of these before so it's like a brand new deal. Even got to see the pilot, which was fairly weak.

After seeing how bad the pilot was, I am surprised it eventually became a series. But since it was like the only show I watched on television for years, I am glad it did.

I watched the first season yesterday and some of the second. Not having to sit through commercials is a good bonus.

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I must wrap this up for now. Thanks for reading.

A few other whatevers

It's Friday and I'm tired of the double standard, by gosh.

Last night, I was changing clothes and my wife actually asked me if I was gaining weight. The nerve! No, I told her, I was actually losing weight until the family dragged me to Fort Smith last night and I ate the Old Timer at Chili's, a burger big enough to feed 10 starving Africans for a week.

What would a woman say if a man asked her that question? Would there be outrage? Would he get dragged on one of those shows where women discuss their like for making love on a bed covered with razor blades?

That just isn't right. Then, on Wednesday my wife had the gall to ask if I was wearing one of my favorite shirts out! Why, I asked? "It's old and doesn't look good on you."

If I ever even hinted that I felt that way about one of her clothing choices, I would probably have to hide in the laundry room for a night.

After giving this matter more thought that it really deserves, I came up with an idea. A rather lame idea, but an idea still the same!

I believe somebody should invent some way that women can have mood hair. Remember the old mood rings? The same deal. That way guys can tell what kind of mood women are in without getting growled at. Now if it's a wife, you really don't really need mood hair.

Her expression and the above mentioned growl are pretty good indicators that the hormones are flying wildly. But the mood hair would be good for co-workers, female friends, girlfriends for the single crowd, etc.

Plus, this way the women wouldn't have to color their hair. If the hair was red, look out! Raging hormones are in the area. This would be the sign that conditions are possible for a human tornado.

If the hair is blonde, the woman is in a good mood. No, this does happen for women, even married ones. This would usually come about after a long and extended talk to her mother about what a klutz her husband was, is and will always stay the same.

I guess brown hair is an okay mood. Black hair is kind of like when you have a thunderstorm warning. There is a possibility of storms, but nothing definite.

The mood hair can change at a moment. For instance, if a man asked a blonde wife or girlfriend if her behind was getting bigger, the hair could go through a sudden transformation through brown, black and finally to orange.

I haven't figured out a color for depression or sadness but it would need to be one that stands out.

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The picture you see above is one I took yesterday with a macro lens. The flower you see wasn't much bigger than the end of a needle. After taking the picture, I started playing with effects on the color just because I haven't done it in a while and I thought it would look good.

I think it turned out pretty good. I'll let you decide. You can click on the picture to see it larger. Some people like effects like this while others think it is cheating.

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We made a run to Fort Smith yesterday. First thing we did was eat and then the family dropped me off at Books-A-Million so they could go clothes shopping. I have them trained. After several years, they have figured out that Big Daddy isn't happy shopping so they drop me off at the book store.

I glanced at some photo and writing magazines and then perused a book, also on writing. The fake coffee stuff they sell there smelled pretty good. I would have bought one but I have never acquired the taste.

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Finally, I got an email the other day requesting my guidance since I am a blogger with 100 + blogs under my belt.

Here's what it said:

Craigman!

I need your guidance. First off, I live in Gore. My wife, the five kids and I went out to eat the other night at Applebees. Everything was fine until I got started eating the riblets. They always give me gas. Halfway through the meal, one escaped. I thought it might be one of those sneeky poots that nobody hears but it sounded like an earthquake. My wife was so upset that she went straight to the car. The kids won't even acknowledge that I'm their father! What can I do?

Here's my response:

Hey, Gassy in Gore! What's up? My first suggestion is not to break wind while eating supper. That's a firm rule in my household, one that I don't even break unless I am at the table alone. Next, hit the bathroom if you need to cheese, or at least walk over next to somebody else's table and act like you are admiring one of the pictures or memorabilia.

As far as the wife and children go, I have no idea what to suggest. I can give good advice on the previous subject but find myself as clueless as you when it comes to family matters.

I sincerely hope you can quit pooting in public.

If any of you would like to send me a question that will be answered in a future blog, please send it here.

I'm through for the day. Hope you have a good day and weekend.

My postpartum depression

First off, I want to thank everybody for the extremely kind cards, emails and phone calls for my 100th blog yesterday.

As you can suspect, it was a big day for me. One hundred blogs! Just think of all the time I have wasted doing that?

Actually, I didn't get any cards, emails or calls. Not that I care. I know, deep down (where it really counts that you really, really like me!)

Don't you?

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This is actually the second time I have tried to write this blog today. Earlier, I was almost through and going through my usual Wham rant. I found this really gay picture of them that I was going to post when it killed my connection.

Dang the Wham! There they are! Bad Wham! How can anybody enjoy listening to a group that actually sang Wake Me Up Before You Go Go?

What I was ranting about was that I turned on my Sirius radio last night while goofing off and guess what the first song was? Some Wham crap!

It's a conspiracy. I'm almost mad enough by now to send an angry email or start a petition requesting that they quit playing songs by Wham or George Michael.

I know that you feel blessed to hear me complain about them and to also actually get to see a picture. We're multimedia here at the craigman's blog.

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Got a phone call from the manager of the local chamber of commerce. Apparently everybody else in town has turned her down, but she requested the Craigman to be the MC (that means Master of Ceremony-tee hee) at the Chamber Banquet on Feb. 23.

This will be the second straight year they have been this desperate. I figured I burned my bridges last year by being late. I thought the event started at 7 p.m. when it actually started at 6:30 p.m.

I was only like 10 minutes late. They were waiting for me out front, pacing. I was not amused. I promised to be on time this year.

In an effort to improve attendance, the chamber is trying a new technique, inviting the same speakers we had last year. Hmm. They are, of course, both politicians. Kenneth Corn and Neal Brannon.

I'm trying to remember how entertaining they were last year and...stop it! I will not go there.

To get more information or buy tickets, call (918) 653-4303. I promise not to let out any bodily function noises over the speaker.

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We watched the Starsky and Hutch movie last night. We actually watched it in the theater but didn't think it was all that great. I revise my opinion after a second viewing. There are some excellent moments in the movie, especially the part where Starsky mixes coke into his coffee.

Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson are the stars. They are two of the funnier actors in the movies, since I still haven't gotten my break.

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Several people are asking if I will continue on the local school board. Over the years, I have learned many things. The ability to say "no" at times is one of the best.

I have served my time. It's time for a break and somebody else to step in. So no, I won't serve or run.

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A quick update on the weight situation. I lost that half pound again that keeps going back and forth and got off the hamburger diet, which probably helped. Down to 215. Still 35 pounds to go, by gosh!

I must go. Have a good day.

The big hundred

Hello and welcome to my 100th blog.

I have spent a lot of time writing on this thing and discussed things that were interesting and some that you probably could have lived without.

I tried to think of some way to make this special but my creativity is not awake this morning at 5:26 a.m.

Currently, this morning is testing my new half-full, positive attitude. I could very easily be in a bad mood today, although nobody usually pays for my mood swings.

Must be a guy time of the week deal or something. I'm sure I will perk up eventually and be the uplifting guy that brightens everybody's life around me and...okay, that was a reach.

First off, I wake up this morning and I was still tired. That is partly because of my sleep habits and also getting up at 5 in the morn to get stuff done. I've been doing this for months and my body is used to it for the most part, but I tend to wear down in the middle of the week and go downhill from there.

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I moved the picture over to the left side this morning to keep you on your toes. That's a macro picture of an Amaryllis we have growing in our house. It was a Christmas present from my grandmother, Rena.

It was a picture that I thought was kind of cool. You can, of course, decide this more on your own. If you would like to see a larger image, click here.

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The wife changed the color of her hair yesterday. She went from a semi-sorta blonde to dark hair. She had hinted that I had a surprise waiting for me when I got home from work and that it had something to do with her hair.

I was a good trooper and didn't say anything like "what the crap did you do to your hair?" or anything like that. It actually looks okay, just different. It beats me why chicks can't just accept the color of their hair and let it go, like most guys do.

There are many guys out there who also color their hair or do whatever they have to do to get rid of the gray. Like that will keep them young looking. For those of you who know me, hair is obviously not a big concern of mine. I have a shiny noggin and accepted it.

I figure if the Big Guy wanted me to still have hair, I would have a mane like that model dude who is on all the romance books.

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Well, the weight issue went south on me again this morning. Added back my half pound that I had dropped yesterday. I tried a new "Hamburger" diet that apparently didn't do all that good as far as weight loss goes. Yesterday for lunch, went out to eat with my dad at the Southern Belle.

Most excellent burger. Then last night, the wife hit up Sonic for their half price burgers on Tuesday evenings. So aside from the lumpy oatmeal I had for breakfast, it was pretty much a hamburger diet.

I know, some people would belch over the ideas of eating hamburgers for lunch and dinner. I only belched after eating hamburgers for lunch and dinner. Since I have a fondness for the burgs, I was fine with it.

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We watched The Fog last night. I would have to say the movie is named correctly. At first, I thought it was about the state of my mind most of the time, but instead it was about this fog that keeps moving into this island and with it comes these bad dudes who want to kill and maim.

It was supposed to be scary. Negative on that. Movies can usually get one good jerk out of me, but not The Fog. I had seen the original one a long time ago, but have killed too many brain cells to remember it.

At least eight people croaked in the movie, some in a particularly gruesome way. Not one of the better flicks I have watched this year but since we rented it on Dollar Night at the old Southside Video, I shall not complain.

No CSI last night for the Craigman. I do think if we ever have a CSI-Heavener, CBS should look at hiring me in the Gus Grissom role. I don't have any actual training as a thespian, but can make several facial gestures at the drop of a hat and change the tone of my voice.

Just ask the kids. I would follow in the footsteps of that fine actor William Shatner. "A dead body! We must investigate! Where is the stiff!"

I'm sure the show would be an immediate hit. They would have to actually film it here in Heavener, not some small Canadian town that is cheaper. Nope, not gonna happen.

I have not decided yet who would be my co-star. I did rule out Roseanne, who should fit in well with the locals. To act like I would in some way be interested in her would be a serious test to my limited acting abilities.

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Enough for now. Hope you enjoyed the 100th blog.

I must apologize

Yesterday, I implied that it was my belief that Kobe Bryant was a ball hog for scoring 81 points in a game Sunday night against Toronto.

As you know, in my new half-full optimistic attitude, I should not allow such negative thoughts to surface. So I will not say he is a ball hog anymore, even though he did shoot 46 times.
Enough about the NBA, I say! Let's move on to the top stories, shall we?

Good. This was my picture from my photo project yesterday. Not one I will want to enter a contest, but I found it mildly amusing. I teased the viewers on my Smugsite as to the actual location of this picture but to thank you, my courageous readers of this blog, I will reveal the location of the sign. It was in Bokoshe, next to my mother-in-law's house.

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Lost half a pound yesterday. Down to 215. That makes 35 pounds to go and I'm still accepting pledges for however much money you want to pay me per pound lost. Remember, it is going to a good cause: The Craig Fund!

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I've been listening to sport's radio over the last few days and believe I've missed my calling. I, personally, believe I could have been a good call-in host. It's probably too late to change careers at my age, but I've been practicing my responses to the callers.

"What? You're an idiot!"

"Are you naturally that stupid or do you have to practice?"

"He (or she) sucks!"

(Excuse me for a second. Wham just came on the Sirius and I'll have to change before I start wanting to wear tights and prance).

Here's some more!

"I couldn't believe that call! The coach is brain dead!"

"You bore me! I'm hanging up now."

Man, that would be fun. I think I'll practice on customers today. If somebody calls requesting a loan, I can tell them: "Do you think I'm that crazy, you idiot! Get off my line. You're tying up traffic!"

How do you think that would go over? Not well, eh? I must admit that I'm not mean enough to actually say those words to any other person, but we are talking about sports.

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Sirius is really stinking in their music choices this morning. I just switched over to the 70s station since the 80s station has some strange fixation with Wham and George Michael. It must be the law that they play a Wham song every time I turn the radio on.

They should let me do some programming. No Wham, Beastie Boys or Boy George, just cool stuff.

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I wish life was more like pro sports. If you weren't being paid what you were worth, you could hold out for more money without worrying about getting canned. In the real world, try hiring an agent, holding a press conference calling your boss a cheap _ _ _ _ (you can fill in your own word here!) and see what would happen.

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The Craigman seldom watches anything on television other than sports, history channel and HGTV when they actually air something other than the designing crap. I don't do regular television for the most part and haven't since Seinfield went off the air.

Most of that junk is an insult to what intelligence I have. I don't like the realty crap and find most of the "comedy" doesn't register on my laugh meter. However, I have been watching CSI lately, way too much. On Friday night, I sat on my rear watching three shows back-to-back and did the same thing again last night.

This show is actually interesting. I haven't caught the spinoffs because I don't think there needs to be a CSI every night of the week to boost ratings. After they come up with a CSI-Heavener, I might catch it.

Last night Gus had to go to some Deliverance type backwoods town because somebody sent a severed head to the medical examiner. I never really figured out why he wanted to go, other than that was how it was written in the script. Still some good stuff.

Enough for now. Have a decent Tuesday, please.

I'm half right!

I've decided to become an optimist from this day forward.

I'll be a half full kind of guy instead of half empty.

Part of this is brought on from my love of living and...uh, there has to be another reason. Oh yeah, I correctly predicted that the Steelers would beat the Broncos yesterday and by gosh, I nailed that one on the head.

If I believed in gambling and the lottery and other things like that, I would soon be offering "Slick Craig's" Guaranteed Pay Off betting service with the "Surefire Winner" this week and deluge your email inbox with offers to share my knowledge of gambling with you for only a small fee, payable whether your bet paid off or lost.

Yes, I am the man when it comes to picking football games! Aside from our online college football poll that I was embarrassed in and the NFC championship game. Yep, just missed that one yesterday by what, 20 points?

Hey, those things happen. A fluke. As I mentioned earlier, I prefer to focus on my success and I would like you to follow suit. Cool?

I saw where Kobe scored 81 points in a game last night. Crap, that's more points than most NBA teams score in a game. Can you say ball hog? No? I can, but won't as that won't go along with my positive, half-full new attitude.

The rest of his team scored 41 points. The Lakers were playing Toronto. I guess that is enough of that.

It rained all day yesterday. So my photographic talents were tested in my photo project. I didn't really want to take a picture of the kids sitting around playing video games or taking a nap (although that might be worth a blackmail if I was so inclined) so I ventured outside and took a picture of water droplets on patio furniture.

If I had a negative attitude, I would say something along the lines of "cruddy picture", but with my new thoughts, I prefer to say I made the best of a difficult situation.

In my continuing quest to get filthy rich, I came up with an idea that would make me both rich and the envy of all people, from great to small. I am going to invent some way to make the weekends longer!

The best way to do that would be to quit my job but my family likes to have a roof over their heads and food in the belly to do that. I am going to challenge my brain cells (even those that have been damaged by the beer usage that I used to indulge in) to come up with something. I have a deadline of 5 p.m. today so they better get busy.

Also, since I am going on with this upbeat attitude. I shall not whine and moan about my diet. I'll go with the old "I only gained one pound yesterday despite eating like a pig!" That is much better than complaining about it. I did gain a pound back, the old two steps forward and one back plan!

Back up to 215.5 pounds. That means 35.5 pounds to go for a slim and trim (but still very much bald) Craigman. Last time after I lost a lot of weight, everybody thought I was sick and on my deathbed.

So I would appreciate it if you would keep those comments to yourself. My name does not need to be on any prayer lists, at least for possible weight loss.

Enough for now! An early blog so my dedicated readers will not be disappointed and worry if one is coming today.

I truly hope you have a great day. No, really.

A rainy Sunday

That strange noise outside is rain. This is the best rain we have had in months. Hopefully this will slow down all the fires.

Yesterday was another beautiful day, less windy than it has been. We did some yard work and just goofed off. I complained a little about how boring the weekend was, not that it did any good.

My complaints usually fall on dead ears so I tend to not complain, just keep it boiling inside.

Our two puppies keep fighting so we're going to have to get rid of one of them. When they are by themself, they are great. Most of the time when they're together, they get along fine. But they still fight several times a day and the little one is getting beat up.

The picture you see to the right is of the First Baptist Church in Heavener. That was my posting yesterday for my photo project.

So far this year, I have taken and posted at least one picture a day. I have always liked the way the church looks.

Still haven't received any sure fire get rich schemes. Come on, people! Don't be stingy!

I lost another pound today. Down to 214.5. Only 34.5 pounds to go. In the two days of my diet, I have lost two pounds. I haven't really exercised, just limited my eating and snacking.

This is also helping my blood sugar. It was 92 this morning and I felt a little shaky. Hopefully when I get my weight down, I can cut down on the medicine.

I must apologize for yesterday's blog. I mentioned "pee" in several forms a few times. After further review, I should have used the proper medical term "whizzing" or "draining the lizard" instead.

So I do apologize and will try to not repeat that.

Okay, I'm sure you're dying to hear who the Craigman thinks will win today? No? I'll share anyway. The visiting teams win! Steelers and Panthers. As a recognized expert in sports, you can take that to the bank!

It might come up a little short but that is how I think the game will turn out. Usually the visiting team does not win in the playoffs but after the Steelers won at Indy and the Panthers won back-to-back against the Giants and Bears, neither team will be intimidated.

That's about it for today. Please have a good day.

A Saturday blog!

The last two Saturdays, I have failed to post a blog on this date. Not today! I am a blogging away.

Even though none of you cared enough about my weight loss project to offer to pay me for it, I will continue to pass on the information. I lost a pound today. Down from 216.5 to 215.5! Only 35.5 pounds to go.

Based on my progress so far, that should be around the first of March, eh? No, you're probably right. I know that losing a pound a day is too much. In 1997, I lost from 240 to 165 in about three months.

Back then, I had plenty of time to exercise and got to the point where I was running about five miles a day and then lifting weights in the afternoon. Plus, I ate better back then as the only person I had to worry about feeding was myself.

I was also younger back then (as if, duh?). It seems like it was a little easier to lose weight back then. Earlier this year, I lost some 15 pounds when I didn't even try. I have kept that weight off. That was back when I was having some bad problems with my sugar and probably pee'd it away as I was visiting the bathroom about 20 times a day, including several a night.

Now that I'm taking medication and trying to be careful again with my eating, my blood sugar is down and I'm not having to pee nearly as much (like you really wanted to know that, eh?)

No plans for today! Most excellent. My daughter is visiting us this weekend so we might go out and do something.

I am continuing on with my photo project. The one from yesterday is pictured above. It is of a sunburst taken from my front deck. If you would like to see the gallery, click here.

Also, I have added a couple of blogs to the one I shamelessly advertised yesterday. Another one on personal finance and one about photography. Click here to take a look, if you're interested.

Have a good day. I shall.

Consider me stunned

Okay, please forgive me for being a little down in the dumps this cloudy and ugly January day.

I only had one pledge on my weight loss blog that I wrote about yesterday and it was even pulled. Yes, I am stunned and hurt.

After all I do to try and entertain the select few that read this, it left me in deep depression and sorrow. Is this the thanks I get?

Reckon so. Enough of that crud. The weigh in this morning registered 216.5. That means 36.5 pounds to go before I am a slim, trim dude once again.

Just to show the kind of person that I am, I will continue to take pledges so don't back off now.

Our dogs are once again practicing unsafe sex so I figure in a few months we will wind up with more weenie dog puppies. Little Buddy is just quite the stud, I guess. He and Daisy got tangled up twice yesterday, stuck together like they had super glue on their private parts.

We are extremely short handed at work today so this will not be the usual brilliance that you have gotten used to reading. Actually, it will be a little short so I apologize if it bothered you in the least bit.

I came across a web site yesterday that is promising to pay me a lot of money for writing blogs. I will continue writing this one, but the other one will be on personal finance. Here's the link if you want to take a look.

It will be about saving, investing, debt, budgeting, all kinds of fun things. I am also going to try and come up with another blog about photography. They promise to drive a lot of viewers to their site and that I can make some money off it. That remains to be seen.

Even though I do feel neglected, I do hope you have a good day and weekend.

Windy day

It is another windy day, in more than one way if you catch my drift.

Actually, you should you don't catch my drift.

This is Thursday and the wind is again blowing like an April day. We had some shingles blow off our house last night, found them in the front yard this morning. Now I will have to haul my bootie up on the roof and fix it.

That is scary. A mechanic and carpenter are two things that I am not at this time, have never been or planned to be.

I can jump a battery and pump gas. That's about the extent of my automotive abilities. In carpentry work, my projects usually wind up worse than they were before I started them.

We had to make a quick trip to Wal-Mart last night. As usual, there were the usual interesting displays of people. We walked in and right to the left was this enormous woman sitting on one of the benches, making it bow in the middle.

I immediately went to the electronics, of course. Got a chance to play the x-Box 360 game Call to Duty and wiped out several Krauts. Shot one good enough his helmet went flying off about 10 feet or so.

As we were leaving, we got in the express lane. There was a family ahead of us. Man, woman and two kids. As the mother turned around, I noticed her tee-shirt said: SPANK ME!

I guess it's a good thing the little squirts weren't old enough to read, but still it made me wonder just how good of a mother she was to wear a shirt like that out in public. I didn't see anybody take her up on it.

Starting tomorrow, the offical Craigman Diet for 2006 starts. Yes, I should have done this already, but I never got around to doing it. So far, we have no sponsors. If you want your business name in this (for example: The Craigman Diet for 2006 sponsored by Bubba's BBQ!), I will be happy to negotiate a price on this. Be sure and bring your checkbook!

In conjunction with the diet, I am going to try and raise money for my favorite charity. If you want to help keep me motivated and raise money for a deserving charity, send me your pledge per pound to thecraigman2003@yahoo.com

I will keep everybody motivated on this fine blog daily with an update and maybe even a spreadsheet. The goal is to lose down to 180 pounds. So if you pledge a dollar per pound and I lose 36 pounds, that's just $36. You aren't limited to a dollar, so give freely.

By the way, the charity I am raising money for is the Craig Fund. You can help me raise money for such deserving causes as buying new camera equipment and to feed my family!

I thank everybody in advance for helping this truly worthwhile cause. Remember a giving reader is a true friend! Plus you, yes you, can help me be more healthy!

Wow! I have goosebumps!

Looks like we might soon have puppies again. Daisy got in heat again before we could get Buddy fixed and I have verified reports this morning that they are making puppies.

We still have two from the last bout. I hate to do this to the little fellow, but Buddy is fixing to be absent two of his body parts.

Enough for now! I look forward to hearing from you concerning your pledge.

A little about not much

This is actually a bonus blog. For those of you who have already read the earlier one today, this is totally different.

My wife just informed me that I have an appointment to get my eyes checked this afternoon. Yay! There's not many things I enjoy more than getting my eyes dilated. It does beat a suppository, I guess and a prostate examination.

From the time of my first prostate examination, any time I hear the snap of gloves, I get the chills. It has always been my belief that is an exit only area. Nothing allowed in, just out. I believe a prostate examination is man's punishment for not having menstrual periods or hatching children.

So from about 3 until whenever tonight, I won't be able to see anything. I'll be like Gizmo or whatever the heck the little critter's name was on Gremlins. "Bright lights!"

Then, we get to make a Wal-Mart trip! Yeehaw! We haven't been there in two whole days. I'm going to create a new realty series for television. America's Strangest People. I believe you could go to any Wal-Mart and fill a whole year with the candidates from any store.

You could have your really bloated people who look like they last took a bath during the Reagan presidency, the old people who walk around mumbling to themself, the goths, druggies, old women with less hair than I have along with all kinds of nut cases.

Thinking about strange people helps me remember some of the people I went to college with. One in particular stands out. It was my first year at college and living in a dorm. I had been to a junior college for two years (yes, I do have a degree!). Everybody on our floor got together to introduce themselves to all the others.

It got around to this one guy. We could already tell he wasn't the sharpest tack on the wall. He had big thick glasses, dressed like a total dork and tended to snort a lot (snot, not coke). So he stands up and says, "Hi, my name's Dan Starbuck (seriously!) and I'm ignorant."

Nobody could believe anybody could be that strange, but that was only an inkling of what we later discovered. He only got drunk one time and sadly, I was away for the weekend. But luckily, some friends recorded his antics on a tape player.

He is in his dorm room and some of the guys started messing with him. They called his room and pretended to be his mother. Dan was so blistered all he could do was mumble for the most part. The pretend mother asked if he had been drinking.

He proclaimed his innocense and that led to more questioning. Right in the middle of the interrogation, he yacked in a trash can.

Later that night, he was walking around the hall with only a towel on. Some of the guys put vaseline on his door handle and he couldn't get a good enough grip to open the door. That was right after they fixed the door so it wouldn't open by merely pushing on it.

I've kind of got off my subject. That tends to happen a lot, eh?

I still haven't had any suggestions on getting filthy rich! What's wrong with you people? After writing about this earlier, I considered trying to get a grant from the government to do a study on wealth building. Think they would go for it?

I could do a good study on the subject if they would be willing to give me a grant for a million smackers. It would be a short report with the following words:

I have found the best way to get wealthy is to get a grant from the government to do a study that will never amount to a hill of beans.

That would probably result in them requesting their money back. Come on people! Ideas! I need ideas!

As a public service, I decided to share some stuff about me.

Favorite food: Steak or babyback ribs.
Favorite meal: Babyback ribs at Outback Steak House with their salty fries, cinammon apples and the wings (medium) as an appetizer. (Notice, I am not getting paid anything by Outback for this notice, although I do think a coupon for a free meal should be sent to me).
Favorite veggie: N/A
Favorite drink: Diet Dr Pepper
Favorite dessert: Cherry pie or chocolate cake
Favorite activity: Photography or writing
What I do best: I am a professional lounger and time waster.
If I could do anything for a living: Write books and a column a day for somebody willing to pay me a chunk of money. Either that or sell my photos for a mint. I can imagine somebody walking into my personal gallery, buying a picture and showing it to their friends "Look I got a Craig Hall and only paid more money than most people make in a month!"
Something you probably didn't know (or want to know) about me: I once almost cut off the big toe on my foot by stepping through an aquarium. Top that, by gosh! It was the last day of school when I was a freshman in high school. A friend and I were playing in the back yard. I ran around the corner of the garage, barefoot, of course, and stepped right through the glass. I fell down and looked around. When I looked down at my foot, I saw a big flap of skin hanging loose and blood flowing everywhere. It actually didn't hurt when I did it. It did later, however, and I couldn't wear a shoe for the rest of the summer.
My first job: Mowing yards in the summer.
That's all for now. I hope you feel enriched.

A humpeth day

Hello. This is Wednesday, the so-called hump day.

Technically, for this week, there is no hump day. I guess hump hour would be today after work.

After going home for lunch yesterday, I went outside to check on the dogs. One of our little puppies, Bailey, had this huge bump on the side of her face. I was afraid she had gotten bitten by a snake.

My wife took her to the vet and it turned out she had either gotten bit by one of the other dogs or ran into a rose bush. They drained all the gunk and put some medicine in and she looks better.

Poor little puppy looked rather sad yesterday, but still acted like she felt okay.

As many of you know, I am stepping down from the local school board. I do appreciate all the calls and comments.

It's sad, but I don't think there will be a President Hall Library. Maybe a President Hall Bathroom would be more appropriate. Also don't guess we'll get the Halladome built, a new dome facility for our football and basketball teams.

Somehow, I doubt the local populace would support a bond for several million dollars strictly for athletic purposes. I think it would be cool. Maybe after I become a multi-billionaire and need a big tax write-off, I can fund the facility at that point.

I would need a large private box, of course, with a television for replays. Just imagine: no more attending games where it is too hot or too cold. The utility bills would drain the rest of my fortune so I guess that will have to go by the wayside.

Sad, eh?

Every day, I begin to doubt my memory. Just recently, I forgot...what was that? I can't remember. I don't recall exactly when that started either. I still remember the important things like eating, but usually can't remember if I take my medicine.

I wonder if that could qualify for disability? It would need to meet my current income standards as I need to maintain my current lifestyle to guard off any possible depression problems.

For the last few years, I have been trying to figure out how to get filthy rich. So far, I haven't figured out anything or I wouldn't be writing this. Duh?

So, I am turning to all of you with brilliant minds for help. Help me figure out some way to get filthy rich, please! I will always give you credit and consider you a good buddy.

Currently, I spend a lot of time working on my web site and my photography. These are hobbies and will never get me where I want to be financially. What I need is some web site that will draw in a ton of people every day.

Or some other way to get wealthy. I thank you in advance for your advice.

Until some other time, I bid you farewell.

Tis a Tuesday

Top news items from the world of Craig this morning.

1. Still feel like crap. This cold/flu or whatever the heck it is won’t go away. I’ve hacked enough cough-causing phlegm to solve the drought-like conditions we are undergoing. Also, I imagine stock in Kleenex is up a lot as we will have to restock our supply. Several people have asked me how I am feeling. Naturally, I appreciate this. One co-worker asked and I replied, “about the same. Are you asking that because you care or because it’s the appropriate thing to say?”

2. Winter is back. After the warm temperatures we have had over the last few weeks, it has turned cold again. Temperature is in the mid-30s, which isn’t bad. But the wind is blowing like crazy, making it seem a lot colder. We did get a little rain yesterday, but not nearly enough.

3. Back to work I am! After my 3 ½ day respite thanks to feeling like crap Friday and the three-day weekend (thanks to MLK), I am back at the desk with a pile of stuff high enough on the aforementioned desk that could be considered close to mountain stages.

After getting the bonus time off, I’m sure we will pay for it today.

Yesterday, the wife and I went to Fort Smith to goof off. I was getting a little hungry so the first stop was the Golden Corral. Being a male and not all that sensitive, I thought this was a good deal.

The wife is still fasting and I was feasting! Our church is having a 21-day fast that runs until next week. I was bad and only lasted half a day.

For those of you who might not know this, the Golden Corral is a buffet with all you can throw. So I started off with some salad and fruit. After the appetizer, it was time to get down to business. The next stop resulted in some chicken, a hamburger, fries, etc.

The wife didn’t appreciate my choice of meal, or the fact that I had a plate stacked roughly two inches high in food. All she ate was some salad, fruit and a baked potato that apparently wasn’t all that tasty.

She made it clear that my choice of eating location and food wasn’t all that nice. She prefers the nicer places like Chili’s, Applebee’s and The Olive Garden. I like them, but the old Corral made up for its lack of quality by quantity.

I did skip dessert! That’s just the kind of thoughtful person I am. I did this because it wouldn’t be fair to her, plus after mutilating my other food (along with two fresh rolls!), I didn’t have any room in the old tummy.

She should have been happy. I watched some of the other people stack their plates a good four inches high. They must have good balance to keep that much food on a plate without spilling.

After the meal, we visited Sam’s Club. It was supposedly only to pick up a couple of things. Naturally, that number multiplied after we got in. I got to hear a play-by-play discussion about her shopping choices.

Naturally, I grunted every day and then while wishing we could get the heck out of there. They didn’t even have any good samples! Normally that would have really hacked me off, but I was still stuffed.

We hit Books a Million after that and killed some time before heading home.

The thought struck me yesterday that the word “why” is the most popular one in the English language for women, especially married women. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that word by members of the female species, you would not find my posterior located at work.

That is enough for now. Have a good day.

My 90th post

Crap, this is the 90th time I have sat down and wrote out a blog. That's a lot of time spent (or wasted, depending on your view) writing or reading this blog.

It is early on Sunday morning and I feel like poop. Not gushy, or anything like that. I have the flu and feel bad. This is the third day of the flu tour entertaining my body.

On Friday I felt bad enough that I left work early and no, it was not to get a head start on the three-day weekend. Yesterday, I felt a little better but at least this morning, it's worse.

Probably should have stayed at home and took it easy yesterday. Instead, we went to watch Ringer at the movie with the whole family. Even the kids wanted to go. Pretty good flick considering the nature of the movie with the character played by Johnny Knoxville acting like he's retarded so he can enter a Special Olympic's competition and win a bet for his uncle.

The learning-challenged actors in this flick are good. I expected it to constantly make fun of them, but it only does a few times. Yes, it's silly at times, but still has some funny moments.

After that, we ate and visited the wife's mother for a little while. I caught the last part of the Seahawks and Redskins. I expected the Skins to win, so naturally they lost. After getting home, I watched the Patriots got knocked off by the Broncos.

That should clear the way for the Colts to go to the Super Bowl, if they can get past the Steelers today. I just don't see the Broncos winning at Indy. In the NFC, I pick the Panthers to win this week and next week to make it to the Super Bowl for the second time in three years.

I'm hoping the Bears win the NFC but I just don't think they quite have what it takes.

It really doesn't matter who comes out of the NFC, though, as the AFC will probably kick tail.

A couple of months back, I got a Sirious satellite radio. It's in my office and I usually listen to it while doing my computer stuff. My favorite channel is the 80s hits but I'm about to protest the music choices.

Every time I have the thing on, I have to listen to some silly Wham song along with Mickey (you know, Oh Mickey you're so fine you blow my mind, oh Mickey!) I actually like that song better than anything Wham produced.

It is time to vacate the computer for a while. Please have a good day and hopefully I don't cough up a lung.

My Friday the 13th

I didn't realize it until hearing it on the news today, but today is Friday the 13th. I usually do not pay any attention to things like this, but thought it would be a good headline for the blog.

Okay, this just isn't right. We're getting a three-day weekend. Yea! So I wake up this morning and feel like dookie. The flu has been going around and I think the bug has found its way into my system.

I am seldom sick, luckily, and don't like feeling bad. Duh. So what's the dadgum deal getting sick with a three-day weekend on the horizon?

That should be against the law. Both my parents have it, along with some of my co-workers. Somebody passed it to me!

The throat is sore, I have a headache, my head is messed up and also have the stomach ailment that usually goes along with being sick.

Speaking of that particular stomach problem, I read somewhere the other day that diarrhea is one of the leading killers in the third-world countries.

I personally don't know if there is a good way to die. Crapping yourself to death would certainly be one of the worst.

Last night, we had a pretty good storm move through about 9. Heavy wind, some much needed rain and lightning. I got lucky and captured some of the lightning. Here's one of the pictures. I took about 20 pictures before the rain got too heavy and the hail came. I just got lucky on that one.

The wind was really blowing hard when I took the picture so it isn't as sharp as I would like, but still got lucky with the timing to capture it.

We are in the midst of the worst droughts I can remember for this time of the year. There have been fires all over, but luckily not as bad as they have had in other parts of the state and Texas. We had a little rain earlier in the week and a good burst for about 30 minutes last night, but with the heavy wind, I doubt the fire danger is any worse.

Usually during this time of the year, our yard is sloshy but the ground is hard as a rock. The ponds, lakes and rivers are lower than they usually are in the summer. I went down to a local dam the other day to take some pictures. I have never been there before when the water wasn't up to the dam.

Now, it's some eight feet low. I guess we're being penalized for allowing the lottery to come into our state, a move I never supported. It's supposed to help the schools, but that's a rook.

Anytime you go in a convenience store now, you usually have to spend several minutes to complete the transaction thanks to people (who usually look like they could be spending the money on something better) buying those silly cards and scratching them off.

I hope everybody has a good day and weekend.

A judicial update...and more!

Wait, there's more to the fine blog I wrote yesterday about our judicial system.

I am not one to complain, usually. For me to get upset enough to actually complain somewhere other than this blog, it takes a lot. Like what happened that was described yesterday.

After writing the blog yesterday, I talked to the city manager and the police chief. They didn't completely understand why it happened the way it did, but really couldn't do anything about it.

Both of them said the judge usually does a good job.

Okay.

So after that, I called the judge. He called back a little later. I told him that the boys were not laughing about the glass being broken, that they along with most of the people in the room were laughing about the statement where my son said the other boy "sucked" at throwing rocks. I also tried to emphasize that Derik realized the seriousness of it.

Also, that our son was not the type to run wild or get in trouble. We keep our kids on a pretty tight rein, trying to make sure they didn't get in trouble.

The judge got a little chapped after a while. He asked what I wanted him to do about the situation. Nothing, I said. I just wanted to tell him that I didn't agree with the way it was handled.

That didn't set all that well with him. He said he didn't like parents calling and complaining to him and trying to get their kids off tickets and fines. I told him that I wasn't trying to get the ticket dismissed. He made his decision and we will follow it.

I told him there was no law saying you can't tease a kid. It's not right, but our son and his cousin should not have been fined for that.

He went on to say that he was a kid once and understood. But that his parents raised him to accept the decisions of judges and others and not to call and question them.

Okay, I didn't realize we were living in a place where our freedom was that limited. That was pretty much the extent of the conversation and I'll let it go away now.

Enough with that.

We are closer to another three-day weekend. I don't really have any plans, which is good.

My sleeping schedule has really been bad lately. During the week, I usually get up at 5 a.m. to work on photographs, writing and my web site. All this week, I have woke up at 3:30. The first couple of days, I thought it was because I went to sleep earlier. So last night I stayed up to a whopping 10:30, but still woke up at the same time.

Ugh. That has left me even more tired than normal. I'm a morning person and usually can stay alert until after lunch and then things start to fog up a bit.

I shall return.

Our judicial system at work!

First off, I'm fairly laid back and easygoing. I do not try to stir up trouble and generally try to get along with everybody.

I respect authority and have always tried my best to obey the law and do the right thing. I have tried to install that value in our children.

The following is a true story. I realize that when some people tell you something it is true, red flags go up. But I promise, this is a true story.

Early in November, our youngest son, Derik, along with his cousin, who was living with us at that time, went bike riding with a friend.

They wound up downtown and were just goofing off. The other kid picked up a rock and thew it. Derik and his cousin teased the other kid by saying he threw like a girl. The other kid got a little hacked and threw a rock through a window downtown.

This is wrong, of course. The local police caught the three boys and took them down to the police station. There was a man working on a nearby building who saw what happened and told the police that our son did not throw the rock, that it was one of the other boys.

So we get a call from the police and come down to see what is happening. The police are asking the kids what happened, but nobody is fessing up. All three boys write out a statement. Derik and his cousin both say the other boy did it. They are all issued a citation and told they have to show up at city court.

It was a week or so later that we loaded up and went to city court. If anybody has not had the opportunity to attend one, I recommend that you do so. Interesting does not even touch the description.

So after a lot of the other people are called and they pay their ticket or can't pay, which is usually the case, the city judge calls on the boys.

Derik and his cousin both plead guilty. The other kid admits to throwing the rock and breaking the window. I felt better about the other kid after he admitted throwing the rock and figured the case would be dropped against my son and his cousin.

The officer that investigated the incident could not come to court that day. So instead of just telling the other kid to pay for the damages and release Derik and his cousin, the judge ordered everybody to come back for the next court date so the officer could give a report.

But wait, it gets worse. The next court date rolls around the the other kid is sick so they put it off until the next court date, which was last night. That's fine. But Derik's cousin, who was at the first court date and would have been at the second, if it had been held, has since moved to Corpus Christi to live with his father.

So we go back to court last night. They run through every other Tom, Dick and Harry prior to getting to us. The judge jokes around with everybody else, including the public drunks and one guy who was busted twice within four days for driving without a license and not having insurance.

The judge actually reduced the fine on one guy who has lived here for three years but never switched his license over to Oklahoma. That's fine with me.

So finally, we get to our case. The judge calls on the police officer who investigated the case. The judge had instructed the officer to bring his police report, but apparently that information was not relayed.

The witness to the case also did not attend. The statements wouldn't have even been available if the mother of the other boy didn't have a copy that she gave to the judge.

The judge says something like Derik's cousin moved to Texas to get away from this, which is certainly not the truth.

So the judge reads the statements. First off was Derik's cousin, who said the other boy got mad when they said he threw like a girl. Then the judge read Derik's statement. He said the other boy "sucked" at throwing rocks.

This got most of the people left laughing. The boys laughed, along with the parents and several of the police officers sitting close to the judge.

So the judge sees the boys laughing and goes off. He says that breaking a window is nothing to laugh about and is a serious offense. Duh? Nobody's laughing about that. They are laughing at Derik's statement.

So the judge goes on to say that he could send the boys to juvenile hall, says they should be working or doing something else other than riding around on bikes and even insinuates that we are not good parents because the boys did this.

The cost to fix the window was $135, which sounded reasonable and nobody questioned it. Then the judge says he will decide how to handle it. He says the other boy, who threw the rock will have to pay $75 of the fine. Derik and his cousin are responsible for $30 each and the judge says they are at fault and shouldn't be making fun of another kid.

No, they shouldn't be making fun of another kid. But this is lame compared to what goes on with kids that age. During my time on the city council, I never helped pass a law or city code or saw one on the books that said it was against any kind of law or code for kids to tease other kids.

If this had been a real trial, there is no way this would have worked. First off, the case would have been kicked out because there were no witnesses or proof the boys did that aside from the statements.

I have nothing against the police force. They were just doing their job and the owner of the building should not be responsible for paying for the damages.

We wound up spending approximately 2 hours and 30 minutes during the two trials to get this settled. It should have been done at the first one where the other kid admitted he did it. Case closed. But nooooo!

I guess that is better to be drunk in public, fighting, speeding, driving without a license or insurance. The city judge certainly treats them a lot better.

I am going to talk to some people later today and voice my displeasure with the situation. I will add something on the next blog as to what comes of that.

My marriage guide

As promised in yesterday's fine bonus blog, I am going to publish the official Craigman's Marriage Guide.

You will obviously be overwhelmed by the great information to follow and grateful, so you can send me a check for $5.95.

There, we got the business stuff out of the way. Without much further stalling, here it goes:

THE OFFICIAL CRAIGMAN'S MARRIAGE GUIDE

As a veteran of marriage (seven years and counting!), I feel qualified to write this guide for everybody. Don't want to leave out anybody who might actually be capable of paying, you know.
This is for those of you who might get married sometime, are in the process of getting married, the poor rookies out there and other veterans.

My wife is a beautiful, wonderful person. So none of the negative stuff is about her. This information is based on heresay and reading. Please pause for a brief disclaimer: THIS INFORMATION IS NOT BASED ON ANY SCIENTIFIC STUDY BY DOCTORS OR DRUNKEN BUMS ON THE STREET! IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH IT, TOUGH. WRITE YOUR OWN MARRIAGE GUIDE FOR ALL I CARE!

Okay, here it goes. Marriage is something everybody dreams about at times. Some are good dreams, others are nightmares. Just like marriages.

It is funny (not as in ha-ha, more like strange) how people change once they get a ring on. That sweet and thoughtful person you dated for so long will not be the same after the ring is placed on the finger and there is a brief adjustment period.

I have noticed this is more common in the female species. The guys aren't that much different. They just refuse to watch Lifetime any more. Prior to marriage, women are able to conceal mood swings in such a way they should win Oscars for best actress.

There will also be another new ingredient added to your relationship. It is called arguing. While everything might be lovey-dovey prior to marriage, don't expect that to continue. Guys, just try and buy that new x-Box 360 when honey wants some new shoes!

The furr will fly. I have not had any of these problems, of course, just going by what people have told me. At times, you will feel like members of the spouse's family have moved in. A bit of helpful advice here: Never ask a spouse when their *(^%ing mother is going to leave.

Spouses are protective of their parents, especially mothers.

This is for the dudes. If you want to know what your wife is going to look like in 20 years or so, look at the mother. Also, listen to the mother. It's heriditary, by gosh. After getting married, you must put your honesty in check and study every response to questions tossed at you.

If the wife asks if her butt looks too big, bite that lip! I don't care if that thing looks like a rhino's behind, don't admit it! Say something along the lines of "Compared to what?"

Aw, a little humor. Of course, you don't say that! You say, "of course not". If you are about to go out and actually try to have some fun and the little lady asks if you like what she has on, simply nod. Again, I don't care if it's something you feel like should be given to the Salvation Army and you're embarrassed to actually be seen with somebody wearing it, go along with it.

Otherwise you have to wait another thirty minutes for her to try on six different outfits.

Now, it's time for some helpful advice to the women out there to help your marriage flourish!

First off, don't expect your husband to kiss and hug after marriage. That's against the law, just like it is for him to watch chick flicks.

Second, give the guy some freedom. If he wants to go golf every day after work and on the weekends, allow it! It is important for a male to do as he pleases. This will, of course, increase his earning powers at work.

Third, if there is a male in the room, the remote should be in his hands. This is not negotiable. A male cannot stand being in a room and a female controlling the remote. The scientists call this "remote envy". Just like a guy never thinks anybody else can time the channel switches during commercials as well as he can.

Fourth, don't expect a guy to do diapers. Especially the early-day diapers when the stuff is green and looks like Jell-o. Women have babies. They are expected to change nasty stuff. Guys should never be expected to view such disgusting things.

Okay, enough with the chicks for a while. Here's some advice for the guys to make for a better marriage.

Numero uno: Sometimes you must compromise. I know, this is against the male code, but it is a necessary survival tool. I feel all males should take a negotiating class as it comes natural for females. Otherwise, you might get trapped for a day at the mall when you would rather be out fishing.

Numero two-oh: Nagging is a natural part of being a woman. For guys, it is considered "whining". Nagging is something women are very good at doing. I do not know if this is true, but I believe all women are taught this in some secret academy girls attend at an early age to learn how to deal with men.

Numero treyo: The phone is your friend! The more your wife stays on the phone, the more freedom you have to play video games and goof off! Encourage this behavior in your female partner. Yeah, it will probably cost some bucks, but it is still worth it! Plus, it will actually improve her mood until she finds that dirty pair of drawers you left in the middle of the bathroom floor.

Numero fourish: Women have different sleeping habits than guys. Utilize this! If they like to stay up late and sleep in, do the opposite. That will give you free time! This is valued more than the finest filet mignon for married guys.

A cell phone can be bad! I believe women secretly invented this to better keep up with their husbands, not just to talk to their mother.

Also, both male and female need to understand the so-called "time factor". For a female, it is much shorter. If she thinks her mate is one minute late, he is drilled with such fun questions as: "What took so long?" "Where did you go?" Who did you talk to?" and many more!

For the guys, it is not so important. They could have an important discussion about the birdie their friend got on the difficult sixth hole yesterday. Plus, if their wife is a little late, it's not that big of a deal. That just means more time to try and conquer that difficult video game that has been kicking your butt.

I, for one, feel that the males have been wronged in many ways. One way in particular is to have that dude writing the "Men are from Mars, Women from Venus" or whatever books. Have you ever seen this guy?

Heck, if his wife came after him with a remote, he'd probably want to hug and apologize for whatever set the woman off, even if it is her fault. Yes, the men and women are different. He has this right. At some time, many females will want their spouses to read this crap.

That just isn't right.

That is all I can do for right now. If I can come up with some other stuff, I'll add it in a sequel blog!

A bonus blog

Yes, this is a bonus blog. I have sixteen minutes to kill before I get released from working for the day and thought, hey, let's blog!

I was just wondering, when people ask if you had a good weekend or did anything fun over the weekend, do they really care of just making conversation? I ask this question in both fashions at times.

Sometimes I get caught finding out everything a person has done this weekend. I learn all kinds of things I could probably do without. People generally know that I live a boring existence broken up by the occasional movie or the chance to eat out.

Still, I am asked that question: "Do anything fun this weekend?"

"Well, I stepped in a pile of dog crap," I want to say, but refrain. That would keep people from asking again, I guess. Instead, I give up the usual "No, it was a boring weekend!"

They understand. They're also married for the most part and realize that fun is severely limited after saying the "I do's!" Why isn't that mentioned in the marriage manual? If it was, that would probably cut down on the number of marriages and divorces, a lot of them resulting from the lack of fun a married person has, I reckon. Or, it might be because one spouse is having too much fun.

Come to think of it, I never saw a marriage manual? What's the deal? That should be required reading. I might just write one. That might be the ticket right there to riches, although most people probably wouldn't want to read the truth or have their spouse they tricked into marrying read the truth.

I remember before my marriage how everybody would warn me that life was going to change in a big way. Aw, they were just kidding. I was so naive. So now I tell everybody who is fixing to get married that the fun is coming to an end. Of course, they are also naive and in love and do not believe me.

What a kidster, they think. Yeah, if only they knew.

I am not totally against marriage, as I am currently married. There are good points to being married. For instance...wait, I'm going to come up with something in a minute. Uh, you get to spend your life with the person that you love more than that old pair of tennis shoes that fit just right!

There are other advantages, of course, and everybody knows I'm just joking. I am happily married!

Everybody knows that! Till death do us part, by gosh! That does give me an idea. I think I'll write a marriage manual and charge people a lot of moolah to read it. The good and bad. In fact, I might just blog about it tomorrow. You guys will have to make big donations to cover the expenses so be prepared.

Another thing that struck me was should you actually tell a person how you are doing if they ask? For instance, I had a person ask me that question earlier. I told the truth. "I'm a little gassy."

For some reason, there was silence on the other end of the line. Surely they didn't want me to lie, did they? Should I have concealed the truth at the moment and gave out a generic "Oh, I'm just fine and dandy!"

Probably. There are always some people you can't tell that you're a little gassy and I'm careful about who I actually tell the truth. Probably not careful enough, however.

I could write a touching memoir of memorable gassy moments, but will hold that for another time and place. For some reason, I have doubts that people really want to read about my flatulence.

Enough. I'm out of here.

Working on Monday!

Crap, have to work on Monday! After having two Mondays off because of holidays, I got kind of used to the four-day workweek and would have to say I'm fond of it.

I really think this should be a permanent thing, but doubt that will happen. I guess I shouldn't complain too much as we also get next Monday off for Martin Luther King Jr. Day! I'm a bigger supporter of his every year.

Our little community got slammed in a story by the Journal Record out of Oklahoma City. Here was a story I wrote about their story. I really feel like the story missed out on several things. It basically said the Hispanics who have moved in to Heavener have rebuilt the city, especially downtown.

I am a big supporter of any business moving downtown. It also indicated that the Hispanics are doing a lot of improvements on the housing situation in Heavener, which is correct. But it also said that Heavener is already the first community in Oklahoma with a majority of Hispanics in the population, or soon will be.

Yes, we have a lot of Hispanics living in Heavener. But if you take the population as a whole, and I am going by the area that surrounds Heavener that is part of the school district, there is no way the Hispanics are a majority of the population.

The story also basically said Heavener was a run-down community that was on its last legs. Heavener does have its problems. The Hispanics are helping in many areas with the businesses downtown and buying older houses and fixing them up. But the Heavener that existed before the chicken plant came to town wasn't exactly about to shut down.

I remember that in the early 1990s, it was hard to find a building available downtown. Since that time, we have lost several long-time businesses such as Stanley Hardware, Wilson & Johnston, T&M Pharmacy because the owners passed away or retired.

Also, the story never says anything about the fire downtown that forced several businesses to relocate to the highway, along with the other growth along the highways and the merger of the two Heavener banks.

The highway running through Heavener doesn't resemble anything like it did prior to OK coming to town. There are now two branch banks, a Sonic, KP's, two Dollar Stores and the new commercial property just north of the CNB branch.

Businesses want to go where the traffic exists. That is a plain fact that the story never mentions. It also doesn't mention how the two cultures have merged. There have been some racial problems, but nothing like many people expected.

For the most part, the whites and Hispanics have learned to live and work together. It also said that all the white people are moving to Poteau, which isn't the case.

There have been a few who have moved to Poteau. But most of the people who have moved out of Heavener have moved to the outlying areas such as Timber Ridge and into the country. There has been more new construction in the last 10 years than there has been in years.

A lot of that has to do with the housing situation in Heavener. There just aren't many lots available to build on and most people would rather build some place where there aren't older homes surrounding them, many of them rental houses.

It also does not mention that Heavener has an excellent school with good facilities, or how our town compares to some other small towns in Oklahoma that do not have a Wal-Mart and aren't a county seat.

Look at some other towns in Oklahoma that are similar in size to Oklahoma and see how we compare. I've been to many of these and would rather live here. The downtowns in those other communities are worse than what we have.

Small towns like Heavener will continue to struggle. Most of our best and brightest move away and seldom come home. They have to go where the jobs are located. If you don't want to work on the railroad, teach or work in a bank, there aren't many good-paying jobs here.

We have to figure out some way to bring better jobs here and capitalize on Heavener's strength, which is tourism, the affordable housing situation, good schools, etc. Instead of harping on the negatives, like the story portrays, we need to concentrate on improving things.

At least that's the way I feel.

It's freaking Friday!

I can honestly say I'm glad it is Friday. Only a little while until I'm once again a free man. I'm kind of bummed out on the lack of a three-day weekend this week. After two in a row, I'm kind of used to the extra day and could use it.

I finished up the huge photo project yesterday. That was a relief. Still need to get one thing printed off, but that is easy. It will require another trip to Fort Smith, but I don't mind going there except during the Christmas rush.

I messed up the other day and said 'feast' instead of 'fast'. Yes, that makes a big difference between eating. Kind of like the proverbial night and day.

Just over 20 minutes until my freedom starts. This evening, we get my daughter in the every other weekend prisoner exchange. Even though she did tie my ACT score as a 12-year old, I consider her a pretty good child for the most part. She is getting close to being a teenager and will sometimes give me THE LOOK that all teenagers magically obtain at that age.

Some crazy dude dared to come into my office and disturb me but I quickly ran him off. My customer service skills late on Fridays aren't worth squat.

I like to take it easy the last hour or so on Fridays to properly gear up for the weekend. I'm still waiting for somebody to pass on information as to how I can get filthy rich without much trouble. One of my friends had a good idea but it is beyond my technical know how.

Then again, a lot of things are beyond my grasp of knowledge. The old wife got severly chapped at the Craigman the other day. She gave me an evelope to send the taxes off and I promptly sent it off.

Only problem was I forgot to put a stamp on the letter so it came back. Dadgum postal service! Made us a little late but the wife put on the charm and got everything in order. She didn't turn on the charm though when she informed me of my blunder.

She only told me to mail the letter, by gosh. Nothing about actually putting a stamp on the letter! That's my defense and I'm sticking with it.

Okay, I was wrong

I am man enough to admit when I was wrong. In the fine blog I wrote yesterday, I predicted that USC would beat Texas and the two offenses would struggle.

Uh, not only was that wrong, it was very wrong. The two teams combined for 79 points and over 1,100 yards in total offense. Usually in a game between two good teams, defense dominates. Not the case in this one.

What stinks is after USC scored its final touchdown to go ahead 38-26, I thought the game was over and turned the old tube off. It was way past the bedtime and I needed my beauty sleep in a bad way.

Didn't find out what happened until this morning. I wasn't all that surprised. Vince Young is a stud. He really reminds me of me back in the glory days. Except he's a better athlete, taller, black, faster and much more talented. Plus in a few months, he will probably have more money than I see in a lifetime, if he's smart and goes pro.

Every week, I try to glimpse through the legals in our local paper. I find some of the items interesting.

I always look to see who is getting sued along with getting divorced as that can be a concern as those two items are pretty good signs that people are either in financial difficulty or soon will be.

One thing that I find interesting is that the marriage and the protective orders are almost back-to-back. I always wonder how long it will be before the two join each other. First off, the people get married and before long, somebody is filing a protective order against their spouse. Then, of course, a divorce soon follows.

That's a sad fact of life but something that seems to go hand-in-hand for a lot of people. In my position, I learn a lot more about people than I really want to know.

I know when somebody's having marital problems, when they're finances are going down the toilet and when Ken's cheating on Barbie. I am not a trained counseller in either finances or marriage, but could probably qualify as one.

People expect miracles and a lot of times, I just can't help them. Other times I try and get in a little hot water. I can't count the number of times that I have tried to help somebody and wind up getting bit for my efforts.

Everybody is your friend when they want your help. Sometimes, I wonder if I am in the right profession. To be a good banker, I guess you have to be cold and not care about people. It bothers me when Granny Grunt comes in for a loan because their electricity and water is about to be cut off and I can't help them for many reasons.

I have been cussed at, hollered at and made too many people cry. That isn't easy. I'm not asking for sympathy and don't want any. Some people think working at a bank is a cushy job. No, I don't work out in the cold or the heat. The temperature is fairly comfortable for the most part and the physical labor doesn't exist.

But the mental labor can be a major pain. I remember back to the old days when I never had to take work home with me. I didn't have to worry so much about this or that. Now it just seems to keep adding up. Fix one problem and another two or three pop up.

I need to reduce stress, not add to it. So do a lot of people, I guess.

There are some benefits to what I do. I really like to help people buy their first house or start their own business. I like that.

That's about it for the day.

1-4-06

Ah, the final college football game tonight. Even though I have sucked this year on my college bowl picks, I shall make a prediction.

USC 35, Texas 17.

Everybody is jumping on the Texas bandwagon, but I think the Horns are going to run into a buzzsaw tonight. I base this on what USC has done in bowl games over the last few years. Last year, the Trojans blasted OU. The year before it was Michigan and prior to that it was Iowa.

It is hard for me to pull for Texas, living in Oklahoma, and I knew the Horns are good, but I really believe that USC will completely shut down Vince Young and show him looks he has never seen before.

Plus, USC always seems to make adjustments. Last year in the Orange Bowl, OU scored on the first drive but was shut down after that. The Sooners had more weapons on offense than Texas does, just don't have the running option that Young provides.

But still, with this much time to prepare, I expect Texas to get totally bumfuzzled. A lot of people are leaning toward Texas based on the performance of the Pac 10 teams in bowls, but those other teams don't have squat compared with USC.

Yes, OU beat Oregon and Ohio State thumped Notre Dame, but I don't see that as having any relevance in tonight's game. Everybody says it will be an offensive showdown as USC's defense isn't as good and Texas' defense is better.

So I do think it will be lower scoring than what many expect. The game will be tight for a half before USC takes over in the final half. There, that's my prediction, for what it's worth. Tomorrow, I will be able to sprout my genius or eat crow.

I continued with my photo project. Here is the photo I posted for Jan. 3. and the link to the gallery.

Also exercised for the third straight day and the weight dropped another half a pound. Only 26 to go.

We watched Into the Blue last night. Not a bad flick. Previews make the movie better than what it is. Kind of made me want to move to the Bahamas and start treasure hunting, aside from the sharks. Getting bit by a shark is not something on my resolutions for the year.

Still fairly warm outside and expected to stay that way with the highs in the 50s and 60s and no chance of rain for another week. We're needing rain in a bad way. I can never remember it being this dry or warm in the winter before.

I realize that a lot of people have trouble communicating. In an effort to improve that, I decided to offer some topics for use when you're talking to somebody.

First is the how are you doing. Nobody really cares how the other person is doing and usually winds up hearing a bunch of crap that you really don't want to know about the other person's health and or family problems. So you must be careful to toss in another question as soon as the other starts talking about their hemorrhoids or gas problems.

Next up, you can always say something about the weather, but again, you must be prepared to hear more than you really want.

Some people always toss out a "how's the family?" question. This is another loaded time bomb waiting to go off. Only use this if you don't mind hearing about how little Timmy stuck a lit bottle rocket up the cat's butt or about their daughter getting preggers despite never having sex.

Work is another touchy subject. Be prepared for one of two things: either complaints about what a butthead their boss is or how they couldn't ask for a better job. The second option usually only happens when the person has been on the job for less than a month. After that, they switch to the first option and they will also complain about how he or she is the only one that actually does any work and everybody else is a lazy bum.

The way to correct this is to just dominate the subject and not give the other person a chance to talk. That will put a damper on your future communications efforts, but nobody can say you are stuck up. A pain maybe, but not stuck up.

1-3-06

My first work date for 2006! Yooboy! I can hardly contain my excitement. But first, a word from our sponsor:

Oh yeah, I forgot, I don't have a sponsor. Never mind.

I added the second picture of the 2006 Photo Project last night. Here's the link. The photo gallery is here.

I'll try to post the link here daily so you can check it out. As I mentioned yesterday, I want to take and post a picture daily throughout 2006. So far, I'm 2-2. El perfecto. Which is much better than I have done on my college bowl picks. I'm 14-12 and floundering. At least I'm guaranteed a .500 record.

How bad have I done? Well, my wife is beating me! Egad! The embarrassment. I believe she has the same last two games as I do, also, so no chance of catching her. That means she wins the annual Hall Family Contest and gets to pick her choice of a night out.

Can you say chick flick? I can, and dread it already.

As mentioned yesterday, the fast that our church is going on didn't go over all that well with the Craigman. I made it half a day yesterday before breaking down. I did exercise again yesterday (also 2-2 this year) and lost 2 1/2 pounds. I can feel the lard breaking down as I write this, if that is possible.

I'm shooting for 26.5 pounds to lose. The wife has lost almost 30 in the last couple of months. She has better eating control than I do.

Didn't see the New Year in the other night. Made it to 11:45 and said the heck with it. Being as that is at least an hour and a half later than usual, thought that was pretty good. Decided since the last few years haven't been all that great and I did stay up until after midnight, I wound change my luck.

We're having our 25th class reunion this summer. Crap, I'm getting old. I'll be 43 in April. I have not had the urge to wear dark socks with shorts yet, so I'm still not technically old. I have given several people permission to shoot to kill if they ever catch me out wearing multi-colored shorts with dark socks. All I ask is it not be painless.

Still have two puppies but I'm afraid one of them is going bye-bye on Friday. A guy and his family came to look at them the other day and promised to be back this week. It will probably be for the best, but I'll still miss them. We really don't need six dogs, a cat and a hamster.

I took a picture of one of our dogs the other day that I was rather proud of. Here's the link. This is Gabby, a half Rottweiler and half Akita. She's a beautiful dog and has a rather amazing story that I'll share with you.

We got Gabby as a puppy. I told everybody that she would grow up to be a large dog, but nobody trusted my opinion. They just thought she was cute and we needed a puppy. Naturally, she grew fast and before long was fighting with our Dachshound, Oscar.

We didn't have place to put her so we gave her away. The next morning, she was back and we decided to keep her. I built her a fence and everything was good. Then that following spring, two puppies found their way to our house. We gave one away, but could never give the other away and decided to keep him.

His name was Butch. Excellent dog but scared the visitors and drove my brother crazy trying to catch his ducks. We wound up putting Butch in the pen with Gabby. Butch didn't like being in the pen and spent all his time breaking out, usually taking Gabby with him.

In June, they killed one of my brother's ducks. Naturally, he was a little hacked. So we gave Gabby and Butch away. They were almost 25 ways away. I missed them, but figured it was better since neither one of them liked to be penned up.

Two months later, I heard our dogs going crazy and looked outside and saw Gabby. She had returned home for the second time, this time travelling the 25 miles in the dead of summer. Gabby was a little thin, but appeared fairly healthy.

I had tore down her fence and decided to let her go free for a while. She has been fairly well behaved and doesn't mind having guests. Gabby does bring home deer skins to show off and has killed one rabbit, but has been on fairly good behavior.

After coming home twice, there's no way I'll give her away again. She is now my constant companion during my daily walks around the property. We'll go up to our pond and sit and enjoy the quiet.

That's her story and enough for now.