2-20-06
First off, let’s hear it for the presidents!
Good and bad, I’m in full support of them…today. After all, this is President’s Day! A holiday! I DON’T have to work today.
Some people might say I don’t bust it too hard on days I am at work. But I don’t actually have to GO to work today. Hurrah!
Yay Presidents!
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As many of you know, we had some ice and snow over the last couple of days although nothing happened yesterday.
This morning, as I was taking the Rufus out to do his bidness, I stepped out on the deck and hit the one area that I could not clear of ice. My foot slipped and I felt a tweak!
Luckily, my excellent balance along with holding on to the door, prevented major pain. But I did feel a tweak, you know, down there. I almost injured my groin!
Boy, I feel lucky. I have never actually injured my groin, thank goodness. That is one injury I would never want to have. You have to limp and move like a 90-year old guy and people always ask what’s wrong.
“I hurt my groin,” they say and lower their head. It’s almost like that damages their manliness.
People cringe and sigh, thinking to themselves how glad they are that this happened to somebody else.
------
I’ve decided that people just don’t have cool nicknames anymore. Name one non-Chris Berman nickname that is cool and I’ll trounce you.
Here’s the all-time champion: Vlad the Impaler! Top that one, by gosh. (He was the inspiration for Dracula, by the way). Now that’s the kind of person you don’t want to stand up for lunch.
Can you imagine actually saying to somebody: “Hey, how’re they hanging, Impaler?”
I’ve tried to think of a good nickname for me other than Craigman. That’s weak compared to Vlad’s moniker. How about Craig the Conqueror? Not bad, not really accurate.
The only thing I have conquered this morning are my bodily functions. I will work on this but when you haven’t done anything really cool, it’s hard to figure out anything.
------
I will have you know that I was the champ this morning. Yep, I had the trash out before any of the neighbors, other than a couple down the road who cheat by putting the trash out the NIGHT before.
That is wrong. Plus, it’s just asking the neighborhood dogs to tear your trash up so it winds up blowing into my yard.
I did this even on my day off, when it is cold and I tweaked a groin!
Good and bad, I’m in full support of them…today. After all, this is President’s Day! A holiday! I DON’T have to work today.
Some people might say I don’t bust it too hard on days I am at work. But I don’t actually have to GO to work today. Hurrah!
Yay Presidents!
-----
As many of you know, we had some ice and snow over the last couple of days although nothing happened yesterday.
This morning, as I was taking the Rufus out to do his bidness, I stepped out on the deck and hit the one area that I could not clear of ice. My foot slipped and I felt a tweak!
Luckily, my excellent balance along with holding on to the door, prevented major pain. But I did feel a tweak, you know, down there. I almost injured my groin!
Boy, I feel lucky. I have never actually injured my groin, thank goodness. That is one injury I would never want to have. You have to limp and move like a 90-year old guy and people always ask what’s wrong.
“I hurt my groin,” they say and lower their head. It’s almost like that damages their manliness.
People cringe and sigh, thinking to themselves how glad they are that this happened to somebody else.
------
I’ve decided that people just don’t have cool nicknames anymore. Name one non-Chris Berman nickname that is cool and I’ll trounce you.
Here’s the all-time champion: Vlad the Impaler! Top that one, by gosh. (He was the inspiration for Dracula, by the way). Now that’s the kind of person you don’t want to stand up for lunch.
Can you imagine actually saying to somebody: “Hey, how’re they hanging, Impaler?”
I’ve tried to think of a good nickname for me other than Craigman. That’s weak compared to Vlad’s moniker. How about Craig the Conqueror? Not bad, not really accurate.
The only thing I have conquered this morning are my bodily functions. I will work on this but when you haven’t done anything really cool, it’s hard to figure out anything.
------
I will have you know that I was the champ this morning. Yep, I had the trash out before any of the neighbors, other than a couple down the road who cheat by putting the trash out the NIGHT before.
That is wrong. Plus, it’s just asking the neighborhood dogs to tear your trash up so it winds up blowing into my yard.
I did this even on my day off, when it is cold and I tweaked a groin!
posted by Craig Hall at
7:47 AM
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