'Twas the morning after Christmas
'Twas the morning after Christmas
by renowned poet CRAIG HALL
(With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, the original author!)
'Twas the morning after Christmas
as I walk through the house;
Nobody's awake, aside from the barking dogs;
The Christmas tree looks lonely
as all the presents have been taken away.
There's a huge mess by the front door
yes, I wish St. Nicholas was here
to help carry the trash out to the road
so I don't freeze my shapely rear.
It takes me six trips to remove
all the wrapping paper and boxes
my wife stacked in front of the door.
Yes, this is a day that the trashmen
will dread for the rest of the year.
Our kitchen is a mess
despite my wife's best efforts.
The fridge is stocked with leftovers
we shall be eating until the flowers bloom.
My checking account is drained
can somebody give me a loan?
I've had stomach pains for two days
gimme some Pepto please!
I need relief from my eating ways.
The man gave me a day off today
one that I sorely need to recover
from the football game I foolishly played.
You're too old, they all say!
I refuse to listen, of course
and tend to forget I am no longer eighteen.
The stores are all having sales today!
Hurrah, I say, and hope to pass
but that depends on what my wife shall say.
There are gifts to exchange and half off
a lot of crap we really do not need.
Oh Visa, Master Card, Discover too!
Please lower your rates and don't charge
us poor, broke souls late fees
so we don't have to go bankrupt!
Back to work tomorrow, oh what a pain!
But for today at least, I am free.
Christmas is such a special time...
I'm just glad it's only once a year.
by renowned poet CRAIG HALL
(With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, the original author!)
'Twas the morning after Christmas
as I walk through the house;
Nobody's awake, aside from the barking dogs;
The Christmas tree looks lonely
as all the presents have been taken away.
There's a huge mess by the front door
yes, I wish St. Nicholas was here
to help carry the trash out to the road
so I don't freeze my shapely rear.
It takes me six trips to remove
all the wrapping paper and boxes
my wife stacked in front of the door.
Yes, this is a day that the trashmen
will dread for the rest of the year.
Our kitchen is a mess
despite my wife's best efforts.
The fridge is stocked with leftovers
we shall be eating until the flowers bloom.
My checking account is drained
can somebody give me a loan?
I've had stomach pains for two days
gimme some Pepto please!
I need relief from my eating ways.
The man gave me a day off today
one that I sorely need to recover
from the football game I foolishly played.
You're too old, they all say!
I refuse to listen, of course
and tend to forget I am no longer eighteen.
The stores are all having sales today!
Hurrah, I say, and hope to pass
but that depends on what my wife shall say.
There are gifts to exchange and half off
a lot of crap we really do not need.
Oh Visa, Master Card, Discover too!
Please lower your rates and don't charge
us poor, broke souls late fees
so we don't have to go bankrupt!
Back to work tomorrow, oh what a pain!
But for today at least, I am free.
Christmas is such a special time...
I'm just glad it's only once a year.
posted by Craig Hall at
6:09 AM
7 Comments:
Yep, it doesn't rhyme, but can you figure out two part harmony, or does singing in harmony matter?
Singing the same tune - just thought harmony might be nice but not actually required.
Shapely? Rear? Isn't that an oxymoron? Hitting the old return lines tomorrow cause all those little cards were challenged. And tomorrow should be challenging and when the going gets tough, the tough get going or thoughts along those lines.
Actually had 2-3 minutes to browse the weekly Comet and realized they too had taken a whole week's vacation, so why not 1 day for you. Are you happy or sad that you don't have a sponsor, a real one that is?
I somehow sensed it would take millions of dollars to be your sponsor. I figured you were a "pen for hire". Oh, well, I'll play lotto the next time I remember that little challenge. It's the stuff dreams are made of, both - winning lotto and owning a "pen for hire".
Actually, I think it all has a new ring to it. There are a few words that actually rhyme. I think this would go rather well if sung. Doesn't have a chorus, but I could always add one. Using the words "shapely" and "rear" would never be an oxymoron when it comes to my hiney. The Craigman does not take vacations from his duties (at least via this blog and other writings!) I did spend some time away from home, but ye shall have to read the blog to find out what happened. Actually, I can be bought for lots less than millions, but millions would be nice. In fact, I will sell daily sponsorships for a small fee so it will say "today's fine blog brought to you by Joe's Jock Itch Cream" or whatever you want me to say. What better way to get the word out? Still not a pen for hire.
I stand corrected - the Craigman didn't take a vacation from all duties. Checked out what you did yesterday and am glad it was you, not me. Chorus, huh? I still think you've very attached to your views regarding your posterior and your alleged rifle arm. But, sadly, we all get a little delusional in time. I think today's blog is brought to you by Joe's Jock Itch Cream has a ring to it. Definitely a jingle from those words! Work, today, huh? I'm going out admist throngs, who I hope had it yesterday to actually return unneeded and unneccesary items. Soon, I say, soon.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home