A Christmas Blog
Ahoy, ye faithful. As my gift to you loyal readers, I give you a Christmas blog.
This is in lieu of presents, of course.
Speaking of presents, next year I believe I will change my Christmas philosophy. Instead of burdening myself with the costs and worries of giving gifts, I shall give my love and friendship instead.
I mean, really, what more could a person ask for from me? Is that not the greatest gift that I can give? No? A big-screen television with a built in TiVO would be better, you say? Shame!
Going along with this thinking, I will not be bothered if friends and family forego giving me presents. I like presents as much as the next person, but if I'm not giving them out, I certainly don't expect any.
Also, I shall bypass any family activities that involve lots of people gathering together and talking rather loud. I will let my family join in activities like this, but I shall abstain and stay home eating Oreos and pumpkin pie. I will let them bring me a big plate loaded down with mashed potatoes, smoked turkey and ham, along with my other favorites.
Just think what this would do to a person's stress level? I'd probably be able to skip my blood pressure medicine for a whole month without the worries of gift buying and family activities. I also believe staying away from Christmas parties in general would be a good resolution. As I mentioned a few days ago, this just isn't my cup of tea.
I don't do large crowds well, or enjoy them. I believe this will help me enjoy the true meaning of Christmas, something I believe is typically lost in today's era. Plus, it will help with the old pocketbook.
Some people might say that I already give my love and friendship. Uh, yeah? What's your point? Are you saying I'm just wanting to be cheap? That I don't want to fight the holiday crowds? That family gatherings are a pain in the posterior?
That might be the driving point behind all this. Will it work? Probably not. What would the wife say? She would have a cow, as would the chitlins.
So I know this won't work, but a man can dream, can't he? It's not like I dislike Christmas. Some of my fondest memories are of Christmas. But now it is easy to see why there is so much depression and stress on people as they go through what should be a joyous time.
UPDATED ENTRY: I forgot to mention this earlier, but it goes in well with Christmas. I never complain, but hate to get clothes for Christmas. That seems like a major ripoff. But I'll get some and act like it's the best present I've gotten in years.
Sometimes, I can be a good actor. Then again, it might be that I just try and keep this goofy look on my face the whole time. Some people say I have a goofy look on my face all the time.
It is my belief that presents should be cool stuff. I can get clothes any time during the year. I should get guy toys and tools for presents. I especially like camera toys, but know that won't happen. Money is also good, along with gift cards.
A few Christmas quotes for your entertainment pleasure:
"Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish"
--Benny Hill (almost caught myself typing in Hinn instead of Hill)
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannon have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
--Jay Leno
And last, but not least:
"Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer...Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?"
--Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
This is in lieu of presents, of course.
Speaking of presents, next year I believe I will change my Christmas philosophy. Instead of burdening myself with the costs and worries of giving gifts, I shall give my love and friendship instead.
I mean, really, what more could a person ask for from me? Is that not the greatest gift that I can give? No? A big-screen television with a built in TiVO would be better, you say? Shame!
Going along with this thinking, I will not be bothered if friends and family forego giving me presents. I like presents as much as the next person, but if I'm not giving them out, I certainly don't expect any.
Also, I shall bypass any family activities that involve lots of people gathering together and talking rather loud. I will let my family join in activities like this, but I shall abstain and stay home eating Oreos and pumpkin pie. I will let them bring me a big plate loaded down with mashed potatoes, smoked turkey and ham, along with my other favorites.
Just think what this would do to a person's stress level? I'd probably be able to skip my blood pressure medicine for a whole month without the worries of gift buying and family activities. I also believe staying away from Christmas parties in general would be a good resolution. As I mentioned a few days ago, this just isn't my cup of tea.
I don't do large crowds well, or enjoy them. I believe this will help me enjoy the true meaning of Christmas, something I believe is typically lost in today's era. Plus, it will help with the old pocketbook.
Some people might say that I already give my love and friendship. Uh, yeah? What's your point? Are you saying I'm just wanting to be cheap? That I don't want to fight the holiday crowds? That family gatherings are a pain in the posterior?
That might be the driving point behind all this. Will it work? Probably not. What would the wife say? She would have a cow, as would the chitlins.
So I know this won't work, but a man can dream, can't he? It's not like I dislike Christmas. Some of my fondest memories are of Christmas. But now it is easy to see why there is so much depression and stress on people as they go through what should be a joyous time.
UPDATED ENTRY: I forgot to mention this earlier, but it goes in well with Christmas. I never complain, but hate to get clothes for Christmas. That seems like a major ripoff. But I'll get some and act like it's the best present I've gotten in years.
Sometimes, I can be a good actor. Then again, it might be that I just try and keep this goofy look on my face the whole time. Some people say I have a goofy look on my face all the time.
It is my belief that presents should be cool stuff. I can get clothes any time during the year. I should get guy toys and tools for presents. I especially like camera toys, but know that won't happen. Money is also good, along with gift cards.
A few Christmas quotes for your entertainment pleasure:
"Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish"
--Benny Hill (almost caught myself typing in Hinn instead of Hill)
"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannon have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
--Jay Leno
And last, but not least:
"Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer...Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?"
--Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes
posted by Craig Hall at
9:22 AM
1 Comments:
I, your loyal reader, do accept your blog in lieu of gifts and recognize that you do not want gifts in return. I believe in your unselfish journey to seek the true meaning of the Spirit of Christmas, but I am afraid as you so correctly foresee, this will not fly with the missus or the chitlins. There are party poopers in every family. I thought this was why families existed. Oh, I think you're a great actor because you do have this goofy look on your face no matter what's happening. I think in lieu of Christmas parties, they should actually ask everyone for say anywhere in the range of $25 to $50 a person to donate to your favorite charity and bypass the party. This will probably go over as well as trying to give your blog as a present, however one can but hope. Keep up the good fight although others less charitable than myself, might infer some self-interest in your search for the real meaning of Christmas.
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