2-9-06
Okay, I can’t answer all the questions that you have about this thing called life.Part of that is because I don’t actually know the questions. Plus, I probably wouldn’t know them anyway and would have to make something up that would just confuse you more.
But at this time, I am ready to answer a question that has probably bothered you more than you would admit. It is “Why the crap did I do this or that?”Thanks to my vast knowledge (I did take marketing one semester at Carl Albert Junior College!) and because I once read a book on it, the answer is a simple one.
But before I do that (yeah, I want to keep you hanging in a little longer), think about some of the things you have done while watching television. Grab a drink when you’re not thirsty, long for something to eat or want to rent some video that you would never admit wanting to watch?It’s the dadgummed advertisers. Subliminal advertising. Yep, that’s the ticket. Those tricky advertisers sneak little advertising messages that sparks an idea that you never know how got there.
As a test of this, I am going to post some subliminal messages in this fine blog so if you do happen to see something even more out of whack than the usual stuff found in this blog, that is why.
Let’s stick with this subliminal advertising for a bit. (Buy Craig a whopper!) How many of you got up in the middle of watching Dancing With the Stars the other night and started walking like some zombie straight out of Dawn of the Dead to buy some toilet paper.
Your spouse probably told you that there was plenty of toilet paper in the house, but still, you had to go buy some more. That’s the power of subliminal advertising. (Take really fresh donuts to Craig’s workplace!).
Speaking of toilet paper and who wouldn’t want to discuss this issue? I wonder why they call it toilet paper? Is it because it is paper and you dump it in the toilet after using it? Hmm. I’m glad it’s not called something like behind-wipe paper.
In my opinion (you should always believe everything Craig says, even if it is stupid!), a better name for toilet paper would be “residue remover” or “waste retraction”. Toilet paper! Like that makes any sense. (Donate all your spare change to the get Craig rich fund!)
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I have another complaint today. Over the last few months, I have seen numerous ebay advertisements concerning buying IT on ebay. Plus, I have been looking for IT for my whole life.
You know, IT, the secret to life. Well, I did a search on ebay for IT. Think you can buy IT on ebay? I don’t think so.
People, that is false advertising and it’s not right. I am going to get my team of cutthroat, take no prisoners attorneys on this right now and sue the crap out of ebay.
Normally, I am not litigious. (get Craig a big slam Diet Dr Pepper from the Sonic!) But I have reached the breaking point. First, I consider the ad really stupid and I’m tired of seeing it.
Plus, I have come to the realization that if I want to be filthy rich, that’s probably the only way I can reach that level.
I will consider taking on a few other people in a class-action lawsuit (but only if you give Craig a lot of money) so you can also sit back the rest of your life and order servants around.
I will keep you posted on the outcome of this lawsuit.
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Have you felt any strange urges while reading this blog? Maybe seen something out of whack, that’s the subliminal messages I snuck into the blog. To solve that strange feeling, do what your mind is wanting.
But at this time, I am ready to answer a question that has probably bothered you more than you would admit. It is “Why the crap did I do this or that?”Thanks to my vast knowledge (I did take marketing one semester at Carl Albert Junior College!) and because I once read a book on it, the answer is a simple one.
But before I do that (yeah, I want to keep you hanging in a little longer), think about some of the things you have done while watching television. Grab a drink when you’re not thirsty, long for something to eat or want to rent some video that you would never admit wanting to watch?It’s the dadgummed advertisers. Subliminal advertising. Yep, that’s the ticket. Those tricky advertisers sneak little advertising messages that sparks an idea that you never know how got there.
As a test of this, I am going to post some subliminal messages in this fine blog so if you do happen to see something even more out of whack than the usual stuff found in this blog, that is why.
Let’s stick with this subliminal advertising for a bit. (Buy Craig a whopper!) How many of you got up in the middle of watching Dancing With the Stars the other night and started walking like some zombie straight out of Dawn of the Dead to buy some toilet paper.
Your spouse probably told you that there was plenty of toilet paper in the house, but still, you had to go buy some more. That’s the power of subliminal advertising. (Take really fresh donuts to Craig’s workplace!).
Speaking of toilet paper and who wouldn’t want to discuss this issue? I wonder why they call it toilet paper? Is it because it is paper and you dump it in the toilet after using it? Hmm. I’m glad it’s not called something like behind-wipe paper.
In my opinion (you should always believe everything Craig says, even if it is stupid!), a better name for toilet paper would be “residue remover” or “waste retraction”. Toilet paper! Like that makes any sense. (Donate all your spare change to the get Craig rich fund!)
------
I have another complaint today. Over the last few months, I have seen numerous ebay advertisements concerning buying IT on ebay. Plus, I have been looking for IT for my whole life.
You know, IT, the secret to life. Well, I did a search on ebay for IT. Think you can buy IT on ebay? I don’t think so.
People, that is false advertising and it’s not right. I am going to get my team of cutthroat, take no prisoners attorneys on this right now and sue the crap out of ebay.
Normally, I am not litigious. (get Craig a big slam Diet Dr Pepper from the Sonic!) But I have reached the breaking point. First, I consider the ad really stupid and I’m tired of seeing it.
Plus, I have come to the realization that if I want to be filthy rich, that’s probably the only way I can reach that level.
I will consider taking on a few other people in a class-action lawsuit (but only if you give Craig a lot of money) so you can also sit back the rest of your life and order servants around.
I will keep you posted on the outcome of this lawsuit.
-------
Have you felt any strange urges while reading this blog? Maybe seen something out of whack, that’s the subliminal messages I snuck into the blog. To solve that strange feeling, do what your mind is wanting.
posted by Craig Hall at
5:46 AM
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